Know your place
by yakashi
Summary: Does Tenzo have place i Kakashi's heart?
1. Chapter 1

"What are we?"

It was a simple three word phrase, but it had been plaguing Tenzo for months. The war was over, the village was rebuilt, everything was in a rhythm. Now was the perfect time for well...starting over.

The war was grueling on everyone. Many injured. Many more loses. Kakashi had fight the friend he grieved years over, and had to watch him die again. Tenzo only knew because well..Kakashi told him. Told him everything in fact. Tenzo was amazed, after everything, Kakashi still trusted him. He should be grateful.

Back in ANBU, Kakashi saved his life. He was eternally indebted to his Senpai. Tenzo would gladly follow him to the ends of the earth. He was so overjoyed when just missions turned into midday walks, turned into late night talks, and eventually late night fucks. _Oh god._ Those were some of his best memories. Kakashi would sneak into his room and use him however he needed. Some nights were particularly grueling, ending in bite marks and bruises. Tenzo didn't care. He would do or be anything for his beloved Senpai. Besides, there were some nights, (Kakashi would never admit) where Kakashi would come in and just lay with him. He'd cuddle up to Tenzo for warmth and Tenzo would give all he had. He'd let Kakashi lie on his chest and he'd pet his hair, reminding him how safe he his.

One night, after an easy mission, Kakashi lied on his side of Tenzo's bed, curled up with his back pressed against Tenzo's chest. Tenzo mumbled into his back asking a simple question, "Stay with me?" He always asked but maybe one day Kakashi would. See, this wasn't just angry sex, or stress relieving sex to Tenzo. He was emotionally invested in his Sempai. Kakashi was his first friend, kiss, and lover. Tenzo wanted Kakashi not just at night but midday and morning as well. He was in love with his Senpai. He knew Kakashi was broken, but hell, so was he. They could be broken together. Tenzo waited for the usual "not tonight." , when Kakashi turned around to look him dead in the eye. His mask was down. Tenzo could see the straight edges of his jaw, the traces moonlight making his outline glow, Kakashi was beautiful. All the time.

"You always ask that."

"Maybe I'm hoping you'll change your answer." Tenzo said not missing a beat.

Kakashi sighed, and sat up so he was leaning against the wall.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Tenzo, what do we do for a living?"

Tenzo was shocked. He sat up next to Kakashi and gave his answer.

"We are shinobi. We protect and serve the village."

"Exactly...we risk our lives daily. We devote our lives to the village. Do you understand?"

Tenzo frowned and hung his head. "Yes,Senpai."

Kakashi quietly took his hand, "Maybe one day, but not until there is peace. Real peace. A day like that may never come. We need to give our all to the village."

Tenzo smiled a little, "Of course Senpai."

Then everything and nothing changed. Kakashi left ANBU, but never left his heart. Tenzo was happy to see Kakashi getting better, learning to smile. He rarely saw Kakashi in his bed, but there were still some nights when he was needed. Tenzo decided to let Team 7 fix Kakashi in a way only they could, while Tenzo continued to work in the shadows.

Everything was great. Until the war. Tenzo couldn't remember much. All he remembered was hopelessly fighting against Kabuto, lots of pain, and darkness. He had no control of his body, his chakra was drained against his will. He kept hearing screams and his body constantly felt like it was on fire. He remembers wishing for death,and it never coming. Then there was nothing.

He woke up in a sterile room, hooked up to monitors and tubes. His head was pounding and he had no idea what was going on. He must've set off an alarm because Sakura immediately came in and embraced him. She told him everything. She told him about Madara, Obito, Naruto, and Zetsu. She told him how a wandering Stone ninja happened to find him in rubble, and how no one expected him to live. However, Tenzo didn't know what was worse, the fact that his gift, his reason for existence, was desecrated and used to hurt those he cared about, or the fact that he wasn't strong enough to do anything about it. Sakura told him to rest. So he did, quite easily in fact because no one came to visit or check on him.

When Tenzo was out, he completely devoted himself to work. He alone built 60% of the village. He took as many missions as possible. Nothing could clear his guilt. He hurt Konoha so he had to give his all to fixing it. The medical staff told him to take him to take it easy but he couldn't, not when he knew his actions were only worthy of death.

Somewhere in the mix Kakashi came back around. Kakashi, war hero, sixth hokage. Tenzo was surprised, he didn't expect Kakashi to ever talk to him again. Kakashi came fairly frequently. They would have tea and talk about the day. Eventually, he heard from Kakashi what happened during the war. Tenzo held Kakashi when he needed to cry, and it was just like the ANBU days. Tenzo was there for his Senpai, no matter what he needed.

They were in the hokage's office. Tenzo was helping Kakashi sort through papers when the question that bothered him was finally asked.

"What are we?"

"Hmm?" Kakashi looked up from his paperwork to see Tenzo's face.

"Well, there is peace now. Real peace."

"Is there really?"

Yamato frowned. As far as he knew, everything was going well. "All nations are cooperating."

Kakashi sighed, "Tenzo, Y-you know how I felt about Obito. You know what happened a-and I don't think I'm really recovered yet...besides, the war ended not that long ago. My term began not that long ago and how would it look if I were to start dating you right now. It wouldn't work Tenzo."

Tenzo gave the best fake smile he could, "Of course Senpai, I understand."

He finished his work, and went home. Upon entering his place, Tenzo got straight to work. He ate dinner, cleaned his apartment, packed his stuff, and left without looking back.

1 week passed since the incident. Kakashi was sitting at his desk, replaying the conversation. He hadn't seen Tenzo in days. Maybe he should check in on him. As if on cue, a woman stormed into his office. She had blue hair half up with bangs covering her forehead. She wore thick black glasses and had on a standard issue jonin uniform. She slammed her fists on the desk, "Where is Yamato!".

Kakashi was stunned. "Who are you?"

The snapped back, "I am Kaiyo. Which you would know if you ever went to therapy like you should. Now, where is Yamato?!"

"I haven't seen him."

"Well find him! He hasn't shown up to his last few sessions and I'm really worried about him. He wasn't at home or any of his usual hangout spots."

Kakashi was starting to get a little worried. He hadn't sent Tenzo on any missions lately."

"Mahh, Tenzo is a competent shinobi. I'm sure he's fine. He's probably just spending time to himself"

Kaiyo's eyes darkened, "Hokage-sama, if anything happens to him, it's all your fault."

Before he could respond, Shikamaru came in the room.

"Hokage-sama, Rat and Crow have returned from their shift."

"Their rotation isn't over for another month. Who is watching Orochimaru?"

"Yamato-taichou. He was assigned last week for an indefinite shift. Looks like he signed up for a permanent spot."

"What the hell! Who signed off?"

"He's head of Anbu, he has authority to sign himself. He has rotating teams to join him so all of it checks out...I'll work on getting override papers but it'll take a while."

Shikamaru left and Kakashi was dazed. Kaiyo quickly snapped him out of his stupor.

"What did you say to him?"

"What?"

Her hands balled into fists, "You heard me. What did you say to him?"

Kakashi played went through the recent events and Kaiyo listened intently putting the pieces together. "I know our relationship is complicated, but that shouldn't have made him do something so reckless."

Kaiyo became completely quiet. She spoke after deciding how best to explain. "Hokage-sama, do you know what happened to Yamato during the war?"

"Of course, I-"

"But do you know what happened to him. Did you ever let him tell you how he experienced the war?"

"I-...no."

"Were you ever there for him when he cried, or had nightmares? Did you ever let him talk about how his mokuton was affected?"

Kakashi remained silent and let her continue.

"I am only telling you this because I think Yamato is in danger of hurting himself… He is hurting Kakashi. He suffered all war and no one came to look for him. No one, not even the man he cares about came to visit him in the hospital...He thinks he is responsible for the war, all those lives lost is a burden he carries on his shoulders every day, no matter how much I tell him it's not. Then, he's happier, things seem to be looking brighter, but then he is rejected by the only one he's ever been intimate with. Kakashi, you were his first and only. You basically told him that he was just a placeholder for Obito and that you dating him is bad for your image as hokage. I can guarantee he left thinking he wasn't meant to be happy and was only alive to serve the village."

Kakashi's head hurt. He felt sick to his stomach. Tenzo was out there with that..that thing. It was his fault. Tenzo had been there for him always while Kakashi was selfish. He never truly checked on Tenzo. He didn't know the man was hurting..and he was hurting to the point where he felt he thought he needed to permanently guard the bastard who kidnapped and abused him.

"Kakashi, you are dense, but not trash. Don't wallow in your self pity. Bring him home. Make him believe and understand that this really is where he belongs."

Kakashi gave a small smile. There was someone who truly deserved Tenzo. Someone who bursted into the hokage's office uncaring of consequences, all for Tenzo's sake.

"I'll bring him home personally."

For the first time, Kaiyo smiled, "You better. When you're back, I expect to see you personally and both you for couple counseling...Lady Tsunade didn't hand pick me as head Psych nin for nothing. Mental health is important and I can help if you let me."

"I'll think about it. Right now, I have to go get my head of ANBU."

"I'll see you soon." Kaiyo walked out.

Kakashi liked her. Maybe he would actually see her considering Tenzo did. Right now he had to get prepared to leave.

Tenzo sat overlooking the sunset. It was orange and yellow and warm and relaxing. Tenzo was calm. He knew his role. He was a tool for the leaf, albeit a defective tool, but a weapon nonetheless. He is a shinobi. He will serve and protect the leaf, devote his life to it, even if that means giving up on all his dreams.


	2. show don't tell

Kakashi really should have had a plan when he retrieved Tenzo.

Instead he went, argued before pulling an "executive decision", and left with an angry Tenzo.

Really. He should have had a plan.

On the bright side, he had Tenzo, that had to count for something,even if Tenzo was staying strictly professional and wouldn't talk to him unless necessary.

Kakashi was really in a bind. He was going to make things right between him and Tenzo. The only problem was how. After thinking for a few minutes, Kakashi had the most amazing idea.

"Tenzo, why don't we stop in this village, I'm hungry."

The ANBU responded with even looking in his direction, "As you wish Hokage-sama."

Kakashi cringed at the honorific, but it won't be long until everything is back to normal.

They sat down at the restaurant. Tenzo purposefully avoided eye contact.

"Sooo, Tenzo...see any cool plants?"

Tenzo cocked his eyebrow , "Nothing interesting hokage-sama."

Thankfully, the waiter came and took their orders as things got awkward. Kakashi made several terrible attempts at small talk, including but not limited to: the weather, business deals that may or may not have been confidential, new types of pesticides, and porn. Unfortunately, all his topics were cut short with one word answers or simple grunts.

Kakashi grabbed the bill, and took out his wallet.

"I've got the bill today Tenzo."

Tenzo froze. He looked at Kakashi, waiting for the joke that never came.

They walked out, Kakashi had a smug grin under his mask. Kakashi saw Yamato glance over at him whenever he thought he wasn't looking.

The village was having a festival and it only made Kakashi's job easier. It provided the perfect place to show Tenzo that he was sorry. There was only a 50% chance it would work, but it was worth a shot.

Tenzo was not amused. Ok well he was amused, but that's why he wasn't amused. Kakashi broke his heart and he was was worming his way back in. Yamato was just confused. Did Kakashi want him or not? He made it clear back in the village, that they weren't going to be together but now..he doesn't know. First Kakashi paid for their food. Yamato couldn't remember a time where Kakashi ever paid for his food. Ever. Then he won him a stuffed animal from some game. It was even a cat. However, that wasn't the worst of it. They decided to rest since Kakashi wanted to read his erotica. His senpai didn't even ask him to build a bench. Instead, he invited him to sit with him against a tree and handed him a book. He handed him an architecture book that he had been eying.

Tenzo wanted to rip his hair out. He was at war with his feelings he tried so hard to eradicate. His mind was a flurry of thoughts and he didn't even pay attention to his book. He didn't even remember how they got to their inn.

They had been settled for about 30 mins. When Kakashi spoke.

"I really am sorry." He was sitting on the bed, cross legged, eyes in his lap, fidgeting with his hands.

Tenzo was sitting on the window sill,admiring the flowers, when he looked back, "Why are you doing this?"

"You deserve an apology, I-"

Tenzo shouted, "No!" He stood up and ran his hand through his head. "Why are you doing all of this? Why are you acting like you care?"

Kakashi sat in silence until he whispered,"I do care about you."

Tenzo gave a self deprecating laugh,

"You, You made me feel like we could be together. I thought I could make you happy but I couldn't. I can't. I know you loved Obito and I'll never be able to replace him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't be better for you. I should have died in the war. What good is a shinobi who can't do their own job. I can't even do wood release. I haven't in months! And here I am. I...I destroyed and killed what I was supposed to protect. I wish I died. I can at least admit it. But here you are with lies. You don't care about me. You never checked on me. You didn't care if I was found or not. So please...just stop playing with me. " Tenzo's voice broke as tears escaped his eyes. He's had enough, he may be ANBU, but he has feelings and there's only so much one person could take.

Kakashi stood up and pulled his mask down. He walked over to Tenzo and hugged him, squeezing tighter until he stopped fighting. When he calmed down enough, Kakashi whispered as he rubbed circles against his back.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. I just...I'm stupid. Really, I'm socially inept and I was scared. I was scared of being in a relationship and how I would fuck it up, or if I lost you, I'd be devastated. I couldn't look for you Tenzo, if we only found a body, I wouldn't..I-I couldn't. I am so sorry for being a shitty friend and an even shittier lover. None and I mean none of this is your fault. If anything, it's mine. "

Kakashi placed Tenzo's head in his hands and wiped the tears away, "I love you Tenzo. I love everything about you and I really screwed up. I hope you can forgive me one day and maybe let me be a real boyfriend to you. One that you deserve. "

Yamato smiled, "I love you too Senpai", and pulled Kakashi into a kiss. It was sweet and full of promises of a better future. He didn't even realize that the flowers on the windowsill bloomed.

BONUS!

"Ah, Rokudaime-sama, what brings you in today? I thought you and Tenzo were doing well."

Kakashi smiled, "Of course Kaiyo, we're doing really well actually which is why I'm here."

Kaiyo frowned, "Kakashi, I told you, stop fearing your happiness. I think-"

"I want to propose to him."Kakashi blurted out, stopping Kaiyo mid-sentence.

"Oh..Well that's great!"

"Yes...I just wanted to say thank you for helping us work through stuff. I think Tenzo is happy and he makes me happy so thank you."

"Relationships aren't easy but they are worth it. Now go, don't keep him waiting."

Kakashi left playing with the silver band in his pocket. Hopefully, Tenzo would accept a change a change in codename.


End file.
